Ok so lately I've been talking to God ALOT. Not in the ohhhh she prays twenty times a day and reads her Bible every hour kinda way. No lately it's been yelling at Him. Not the why me??? Yelling but the "God, I know You can heal her JUST DO IT!!!" yeah yeah I know yelling at God not a great idea but seriously I think it would be easier sometimes to deal with Rett Syndrome if I didn't wholehearted believe in a God that spoke the universe into existence. Because then I wouldnt have the knowledge that it's totally simple for Him to heal her. And please don't even try to tell me that crap about it is all for His glory, or but it will all work out for the best or anything like that because quite frankly my dear I don't give a damn. Anyways.... So I yell at God and I ask Him for stuff (conflicting I know but I figure what the hey) like a house my daughter can move around in that isn't making her sicker. Then I wait. Not like wait and do nothing but wait like ok God is this your answer or is this your answer? I need a sticky note from heaven.
Seriously. I just need one. I don't think it's to much to ask, I mean He wrote the 10 Commandments out for Moses and what did Moses do? He smashed them! Not me! God gives me a sticky note and that bad boy is going in my memory box FOREVER! But think about it. There is a house that is sooo perfect for us, just not on the market yet. There is another house that someone might be willing to GIVE us, only we have to have the house moved and it ain't a trailer. Is that what God wants? When I prayed about it before all I got from Him was Wait. Then this free house comes up. Is the wait for the free house? Or is it for the Extreme Makeover that a million people have said we should apply for? Is the wait just wait and He'll heal Chloe and we won't be so rushed to get into a house? See the need for a sticky note? I'm looking at everything and everyone thinking is this it, God? Maybe He had my sticky note all ready and then I yelled at Him and He smited the sticky note. Poor sticky. Grrrrr. Am I the only one to ever wish for a sticky note?
You wish for sticky notes, too? Phew, I thought I was the only one... (And I do a lot of yelling too...) (Rage on! And thanks for being a role model yourself)
ReplyDeleteMoment-by-moment in-the-present-living. Yep.
I am sitting in bible study studying the Kelly Minter book "Nehemiah:A heart that can break." We are talking on how awesome it would be to get daily post-it notes from God. You are not alone!
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