Helpless to help the helpless

It's hard not to be envious.

Please excuse the heart on my sleeve but I need an outlet.

When I look around me I see little girls the same age and younger as Chloe who are laughing and talking and playing without a care in the world.  What I wouldn't give to be able to chase our 2 year old all around the house as she explores everything and hears the word "NO" so many times she drowns it out.  Oh, how I long to hear the words "I love you daddy" from her sweet voice, to be bombarded with endless questions about the world, and even the occasional temper tantrum when she doesn't get her way.

These are all just hopes and dreams that depend on a miracle.  Does anyone have one we can use?

Just when I get down and out feeling sorry for myself because of Chloe's disability, I try to imagine what it must be like from her point of view.  She is 2 now so she is getting into the stage of life where she is questioning everything and sizing things up.  By now she has to understand that she is different.  She has to realize that all the other girls her age can express themselves freely through words and movements while she is stuck inside a body that doesn't respond to her will.  I'm sure it makes her sad and frustrated in ways that dwarf my own emotions like a drop in a bucket.

I just want to make her better but I'm completely helpless.

I want to provide for her every need but I'm completely helpless.

I want to be the very best daddy a girl could ask for but I don't even know where to start.

I'm learning what walking by faith is all about.